How God Changed Who I Was Attracted To
9 Or do you not know that the unrighteous[b] will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality,[c] 10 nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. 11 And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God. 1 Corinthians 6:9-11
If you are a Christian, God will change who you are physically and sexually attracted to, and I am proof of that.
As a young man born with a propensity to sin along with being exposed to pornography at a young age while at a sleepover at a friend’s house, It was only a matter of time before I was conformed to the worldly idea that girls/women were to be objectified for my own personal pleasure. As a child and teenager, I found myself to be attracted only to certain types of girls; girls who dress provocatively, who portray the same type of women that I was accustomed to seeing in rated R movies or sexually explicit commercials on television. Deep down I knew that personality should play a significant role regarding who I find myself attracted to, but I clearly prioritized aestheticism over personality. I was much more interested in girls who dressed a certain way and had a specific body type. I was guilty of often “body shaming” girls who did not fit my preference, showed a clear prejudice towards girls I was physically attracted to, and I justified my views by claiming it was my “right” to be attracted to whoever I wanted to.
When I became a Christian at 15 years old, God convicted me of my sinfulness and revealed to me that I needed His forgiveness through faith in Jesus Christ. One of the first areas of sin that God strongly convicted me of was my views of sexuality. It quickly became very apparent to me that there was a different type of “person” that God wanted me to be attracted to. The type of woman described in 1 Timothy 2:9-10 (adorned with respectable apparel, modesty and self-control, godly behavior) is the kind of person that I started to see God wanted me to be attracted to.
Modesty and godliness became the two most important factors of a woman when I began earnestly searching for a future wife. For years I struggled with the tension of trying to have both worlds in who I was attracted to. I wanted to hold onto my old ways of viewing women while at the same time finding someone who also fit the descriptions of a godly woman. However, God was patient with me and I slowly began to see that godliness has nothing in common with worldliness (2 Corinthians 6:14-16).
Eventually, what I came to find was this; If I truly desire a godly woman, I will be both physically and sexually attracted to her. Just as God looks at the heart of man, I should also be looking at the heart of a woman to know what it is that I am attracted to. I am convinced I am married to the most beautiful woman on the planet, and it’s not because she has won beauty pageants or dresses provocatively when we go out on dates. It is because since the day that I met her and every day after that, she has proven to me that her heart seeks after God’s will in her life and that alone has brought a new definition of “beauty” in my mind. I will always be physically and sexually attracted to my wife because of her purity of heart in her seeking after the Lord in her life. Does this mean that I will not struggle with my previous worldly views of what makes women attractive? Not at all! It is a daily struggle for me to be reminded of the sin that lives in me that Christ is working out in me to slowly purge sin from my life. As a Christian, I look forward to the day when Jesus Christ returns to judge the world or until if He were to call me home before that time comes. Either way, the eternal hope of the Christian is that there will be a day when they will know sin no more. They will be completely cleansed of all unrighteousness and will only experience the pure joy of the Lord that is unhindered by our sinful nature.
God will change who His people are attracted to, because He promises to change their hearts (Romans 8:28-29, Phiippians 1:6).
This change in attraction has evolved throughout our marriage as God has continued to teach me about being attracted to righteousness and the things that bring Him glory; to love what is good and hate what is evil.
I now have a pure hatred for the sexually explicit, not that I hate the person in whom it is observed, but a hatred for my sinful desires that still wage war against the will of God within me.
In this sense, God has literally changed who I am attracted to.
For anyone who believes that they are unable to change who or what they are attracted to, they’re right! They cannot change themselves, only God can, and He will change every aspect of our lives to conform us to the image of His Son, Jesus Christ. With God all things are possible! (Matthew 19:26)